I stumbled across this article on Facebook this evening and found it to ring true for this time of year (all year long, really!) My daughters have started back to daycare and I can see the difference in their behavior right away! EVERY one of these points are visible at my house, maybe yours as well!
The After School Attitude:
Why Is My Child Acting Out at Home?
Yesterday a friend mentioned
that her daughter has been coming home from preschool this week with a terrible
attitude. I started explaining why and giving tips about how she could help
when I realized that this advice would reach more people in a post! If your
child recently started back to school and you are seeing a behavioral fall out
at home, here is what is really going on.
As I typed out my experience
as a former kindergarten teacher to my struggling friend someone else chimed in
and said, "I don't know who you are but you gave the best advice." I
tend to undermine my degrees in early childhood education and educational
psychology plus my classroom experience since my own kids give me struggles every day. If my writing can help one parent it is worth writing.
Your child is coming home
from school grouchy. She doesn't want to tell you about her day. Her behavior
is terrible, out of character, and you're wondering where the sweetie you put
on the bus this morning went and how to get her back! What is going on?
Your child is practicing
becoming a student:I outlined ways that you
can ease the
transition back to school and many of them still apply after
the first day. You little learner needs plenty of sleep and is probably still
getting used to getting up earlier (and going to bed earlier) and being rushed
out of the house after spending lazy summer days at home doing (mostly) as she
pleased. She's gone from choosing her entertainment at home to listening to you
before school then listening to the teacher at school so she's adjusting to not
being in charge in either place. At home she can ask for a snack when she's
hungry, use the bathroom without interrupting the whole class, and snuggle on
the couch with her favorite stuffed animal (or you!) if she needs an emotional
break. She may have some of those same comforts at school but not always at the
moment she needs them most.
Your child needs a break:
Working adults use their
commute home to unwind from their day going from work more to home mode. Kids
need a transition too. I recommend you don't ask about you child's day right
away. I know this is difficult because you want to know what she did while she
was away! You will get a much better response and attitude if you wait until
after a break to ask the questions instead of bombarding her with them as she
switches from school to home. Different kids need this break to look different
ways so you may try a snack, some down time (television, quiet time, or
stories), active play (a trip to the playground), or changing clothes. You are
looking for the best way to physically signify to your child that school is
over. Don't be surprised if she starts telling you about her day as she
unwinds!
Your child (hopefully)
behaved all day at school and her self control is maxed out:
Expectations are very
different at school. In addition to new rules and a new adult enforcing them,
your child is being asked to do things in a group setting that are very
different from home. For example, she can't just tell the teacher what she is
excited about (like she does at home with you). Now she has to remember to
raise her hand, wait her turn, and maybe she'll get the chance to share before
the teacher moves the class on to the next task. Keeping a lid on all of those
(typical and normal) childhood behaviors to meet behavioral expectations at
school is hard work. At the end of the day your child has held it
all in and kept it together for so long that she explodes where she feels
safest and loved most: at home. I'm so sorry that you are dealing with
difficult Mr. Hyde while the teacher gets sweet Dr. Jekyll, but ask yourself if
you'd really want it the other way around!
What you can do to help:
In addition to providing
lots of sleep, healthy food, and a break, you will want to lavish your child with
praise, extra patience, and love during this tricky time. "I am so proud
of how you behaved at school today. Can you think about the way you are acting
now at home so we continue to have a great day together?"
This adjustment period
should last two weeks to a month. If your child's behavior doesn't adjust back
to normal or you notice a behavioral change in the middle of the school year,
do not hesitate to contact the teacher and ask your child what is going on!
Thank you to http://www.stillplayingschool.com/2014/08/after-school-behavior.html?m=1, for this blogpost and any help you can give us! You can also find more from this author on her Facebook page named "Still Playing School."
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